So you have a new baby. Now what?

All the books tell you to get help when you bring baby home. What do you need help for? Everything.

You need help so you can get sleep. That is the number one reason to have a relative or close friend near by at all times. A new baby who is breast fed will want to eat every other hour or every three hours. That means from the time of the first feeding to the next it may be 2-3 hours. What you need to do in between is sleep. Of course you will need to also eat, go to the bathroom, wash your stitches and stay hydrated. If you can get your helper (and don't count on your husband because he needs sleep too) to hand you the baby when it's feeding time and then take the baby back after the feeding, life will be so much easier for everyone.

Breast milk gives your baby everything he/she needs. But you must have rest to make quality milk. Ideally your helper will bring you food in bed so you can nourish yourself without being fully awake. All you need to do is get that food chewed up enough to swallow it down and go back to sleep. If you can manage to drink liquids during feedings you accomplish two important tasks at once. And if you can nurse in the side-lying position you might get a feeding in without being fully awake too. Please, do everyone a favor and get some help. The less stress you feel the better the baby feeds and the better you will rest.

There is no need to dress the baby in cutesy little outfits and parade it around town. Everyone who cares about you will see your little angel in due time. Remember, the newborn needs you more than anything else in this world. He gets warmth, security, and nourishment all right at your breast. Enjoy this time.

9 months or 10

So, you can expect to fart a lot when you are pregnant. And get heartburn. And not be able to sleep at times when you are real big. But the most exciting part is the sonogram; you have to have a full bladder when they do it which makes it less fun and more of a nuisance. That cold roller thing pushing on your full bladder backed up by a squirming parasite...there is nothing better than seeing that perfect little body coming to life!

In the first month of pregnancy there wasn't much different. My boobs got bigger and I passed a lot of gas. That's sort of what tipped me off to being preg in the first place. Then second month brought morning sickness and the third brought exhaustion. The fourth month was a transition from pizza cravings to cold sandwiches. The last three months are all about constipation, heartburn, and sleepless nights.

You can't sleep on your side without rolling toward your belly. You're not supposed to sleep on your stomach or you right-or was it left? I can't remember. That leaves your back and you probably want to put several pillows all around and under you just to make it comfortable. And due to the continuous heartburn you will want to be elevated.

And did I mention the constipation? I have to bring that up again because you will undoubtedly experience further complications on that end after delivery. You must consume copious quantities of water for the rest of your life due to this.

Since the doctors start counting your pregnancy from the date of your last period, pregnancy is actually supposed to be 10 months. Mine concluded early but the result was a beautiful little jaundiced boy. I wouldn't trade him for the world. It was worth every last fart.